Umrah pertamaku 3.0

So harini I will continue the story about ibu in Mecca and Madinah. So she was unfit to go to masjid. Dia akan solat kat bilik. Even makan pun dekat bilik. Perut ibu dah masuk angin, at the same time dia dah tak boleh nak makan sebab akan muntah. She also had diarrhea. 

and she getting worse. Mungkin masa tu lah tuhan nak uji aku ibarat nya mcm I used to keep on saying 'Nanti kak ilah nak jaga ibu".. so ni la agaknya tuhan nak uji what had I been saying. betul laa kita akan diuji dengan apa yang kita cakap. 

But who knows, kalau kata ujian tu mmg rasa susah sgt. bila penat penat balik bilik, kene cuci lantai bilik dan bilik air sebab ibu dah tak larat sampa termuntah atas lantai bilik. Masa tu rasa mcm ya Allah sabar nik, ni syurga kau ni. Masa tu perasaan bercampur, nak pergi masjid ke nak jaga ibu. Nak iktikaf ke nak tengok ibu dekat bilik. Masa tu fikir "dekat Malaysia aku dapat beribadah jugak, tapi ibu sakit jarang jarang, ni laa peluang nak jaga ibu" so that is my motivation untuk jaga ibu at that moment. Until one day ibu cakap nak pergi klinik. 

and masa tu agaknya macam tuhan mmg nak uji aku, abah macam sangat blur on what to do. So, I insisted him untuk bawak ibu pergi hospital. then dekat emergency room tu, I witnessed all. 4 orang nurse attend ibu untuk ambik darah. but they couldnt. the vein dah shrinking sebab she totally dehhydrated. Muka ibu masa tu sakit sangat. sebab 4 jarum serentak cucuk nak ambik darah. and byk kali pulak tu nak bagi dpatkan darah tu. sampai nurse sendiri said sorry to me "I am sorry I have to do like this to your mama". I just nodded. I couldnt help her. doa je boleh. Then her breath like up and down. Until she got cadriatic arrest. Masatu ya Allah paniknya. nurse like berlari dalam emergency room tu panic as well. Then after put oxygen mask she is getting better. 

Masa tu she was unconscious. So I just read al quran beside her. tu je lah usaha aku boleh buat. Until doctor come to me " Can I talk to you? " "I am sorry but your mom is critical, we need to monitor her in ICU. Please tell your father about this".  I remain positive at that moment. I nodded and said "okay". then I get abah and can't hold it anymore, i cried and tell him what doctor said to me.

Then ibu warded for two days. Its tiring. we both slept at 3 am and woke up at 4 am for fajr. Esoknya masa ziarah, me and abah like really exhausted. Exhausted sangat. after zohor pergi visit ibu and makan sekali dengan dia. and the routine repeat until she was discharged.

After discharged, she is not really okay, malam tu dia sesak nafas. tapi dia tahan, tak nak kejut kitorang sebab dia kesian. esok pagi lepas subuh, dia sesak nafas lagi, we rushed her to hospital again. and the same thing repeat. she warded in ICU again. 

masatu i feel numb and keep positive. Ada hikmah ni. pujuk diri sendiri. bought myself a jubah as a reward for being strong and positive. We also treat ourselves icecream from MCd.Abah sangat cool. Like heyy kenapa dia tenang gila ni. Esoknya dah nak pergi madinah, so kitorang doa lah boleh bawak ibu pergi madinah. Alhamdulillah she is discharged before bertolak ke Madinah. Along the way I keep on pray ya Allah bagi lah berita gembira kat aku. sebab I feel so exhausted and of course sad. tengok strongest woman in my life jadi the weakest one here. 

Masa dekat bilik hotel di Madinah, ibu cakap macam ni "kesian kak ilah, ibu tak dapat nak bawak kak ilah ziarah Rasulullah" I just smiled to her.

Then dia cakap lagi "Rezeki Kak Ilah dapat jaga ibu dekat sini, orang lain tak dapat" then dia baring tidur. 

At that moment tears rolled in my eyes and cepat cepat lap.  Ya ALLAH ni ke berita baik yang aku mintak tu. Allah tengah bagi aku peluang nak berkhidmat dekat syurga aku. Mana lagi nak dapat peluang ni dekat tanah haram macam ni. kat mana lagi yang aku tak bersyukur. Tuhan dah tunjuk jalan kat kau nik. 

Masa balik Malaysia, aku pulak jet lag. hmm lagi teruk kene bahan dengan ibu abah.