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Have you ever been tired? Exhausted? to the extent you feel like, dah aku nak mati je. Taknak duduk dekat dunia tak best. Dunia ni byk fitnah, kerja tak habis habis. Tak boleh rehat. You  feel like to get away from the pain. Sbb you think of syurga lagi best. Syurga lagi cantik, dan membahagiakan. Have you ever that thought?

I did.

I don't know it is a sign of mild depression, but that thought keep coming when I am very tired. I feel restless sampai terdetik " Hm mati je laa kan best, tak sabar nak masuk syurga". (You guys might think, budak, kau kenapa tak de agama ke?)

Until I talked to a friend, and she said, " Eh ni symptom mild depression" I am so panicked. I don't want to get depress. But I notice, lately I am so insecure with my appearance and my height.I think I am not productive. I am so tired, lost appetite and I can feel I am very sick. I try to get back on my routine, main hoki, jogging to overcome this sickness. I try. I will start to write my gratitude journal, I want to be happy again. Because I lost interest to a lot of things in my life. I really hope this not going to be serious. I promise to take care of my health and eat nutrition.

you know what hurts me the most? I want to talk to someone but I feel like, hei diorang ada byk lagi kerja lain nak buat. Jangan bebankan masalah diorang.